I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize