You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize