You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
