If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
