I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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