He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize