my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize