they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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