I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
being pregnant is like rehab
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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