Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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