youre lurking in front of me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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