Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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