it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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