He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
