better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
