no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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