i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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