hell yes lets make some ravioli
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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