Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
