This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize