I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
