I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize