He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
