you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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