The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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