we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
