i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
