He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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