just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
