dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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