cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize