ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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