I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
