Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Less talking, more tequila
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
