That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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