He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
