Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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