My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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