Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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