Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize