This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
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But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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