Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
