he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
