Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize