I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
