i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
