Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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