so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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