Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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