Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
