their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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