He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I understand Curling. That high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
