you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
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