i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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