He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
