Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
