I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
