The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
