i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
