So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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