hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
