so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
